A few things happened recently and they're too significant for me to ignore.
And this post will be kinda moody and emo but you don't have to continue reading if you don't want to.
Press ctrl+A to see.
(:
{ On Wednesday,in school,I received an SMS from my mother,saying that her uncle (my granduncle) passed away.
Even though I wasn't very close to him, the fact that you will never see this person alive is just painful and heartbreaking.
And when you think about it,you'll wonder when was the last time that you smiled or greeted this person.
Maybe when he was still alive, it never really mattered, but now, I'm trying to remember the last thing he said to me, what he looked like the last time I met him (which is the last Hari Raya) and other little things that would have meant a lot to me right now.
Besides that, when I was at the funeral, I realised one thing which really surprised me.
I realised that his 2 children (daughter & son) weren't weeping.
I mean, not that its actually necessary, but seeing as they've lost their father, they looked sort of prepared for it.
What I'm trying to say here is that they were really strong.
And it even sort of gave ME the courage & strength to live life to the fullest and to accept the way things are.
Even now, just thinking about it, I could already feel the emptiness in me if I were to be in my cousins shoes.
What touched me even more is the fact that my cousin could still joke with me, give me pointers on my exams, and even recommend salons for me.
Then, just as I was about to leave, I saw my other cousin lying on the floor, staring into space.
At that point, I was just beyond grief.
To think that he hadn't shed a tear just made me think whether I would be this strong if my father passed away suddenly.
I'm not emo by nature and I certainly don't cry easily but its times like these where you would think about what you want to do with your life and what you have done with it so far.
A good friend once told me that I ought to appreciate things that I have now.
Even the littlest things,like being able to breathe fresh air and see the sun everyday.
Thinking back on what I've done, I realised I have always been taking things for granted.
And I've come to a decision that I will change the person that I am right now.
I just don't want to grow up, making bad decisions for myself and regretting it afterwards.
That's just the worst thing a human can do.
And another good friend once told me that you won't know how a much a person means to you until they're gone.
So lesson of the day, start appreciating every little thing you have now and don't take things for granted.
Regretting is just not an option.
(:
}
End of my emo part of the post.
And a very long one for that matter.
Anyway,school's just been bullshit nowadays.
In fact, I only have band to look forward to nowadays.
My progress in studies are equivalent to the rate a grass grows.
And the worst part is that the grass will be chopped off when it gets too tall.
-_-
Digressing.
This week's "holiday" won't be a holiday for me at all.
Just merely a time for me to catch up with work.
GRRR~
Sometimes I really wish I was taking 3 subjects like a Primary 1 student.
And the best part is that I'll still have time to play catching during recess.
=D
Today was initially our 5th month.
It's a perfect denial
1:14 am
