STRESSED~
I don't really know what to do nowadays.Sometimes I wanna stay at home so badly cause I want to get my homework done with and sometimes I just wish there was more band practice so I can spent more time on my horn.Competition is less than 30 days away and yet,I don't feel the pressure.Surely something is wrong.Right now,other schools are practicing their ass off and having intensive practice camps and etc.And we are just taking things easy,thinking we could just appear on stage and give those bighead judges a happy face and return with a Gold? What kind of bullshit is that? I'm not dissing the band or the school or anyone for that matter.I'm just angry at myself that I didn't work harder before and have to get all stressed up NOW,20+ days before competition.I always keep telling myself I have to work extra hard this year and I know I've done a horrible job at it.My grades are falling,I haven't been handing my work punctually,I've been falling asleep in class etc etc.Now is supposed to be the time where I buck up in my studies but that doesn't really seem to be possible.The fact that I stay up late every night mugging proves that.
Anyway,if I have to make a sacrifice,I guess I would sacrifice my mid-term results.I can always try harder to achieve better results at the end of the year,but for the competition,there isn't gonna be a next time.Maybe Alson forgot to mention but the graduating people aren't the only ones who having the last shot at competition.The Sec 3 express are having the first AND the last shot as well,so I think this pretty darn important that we buck up now if not later.I may sound like a beggar desperate for a Gold,but if you ask me,I have never blatantly told anyone out loud that I want one.I just keep pushing myself to try my best and if my best isn't good enough,than let it be.
I don't know why I could be so emo right now,especially since being 'emo' is not in my nature.But honestly,letting it all out feels good,though I won't do it so often.Maybe right now I should just focus on my goals more and put my worries aside.If I'm not being myself these days,then you should understand why.I just hope I can get back on track when all these stressing things are done with...
Another boring post....
I don't really know what to do nowadays.Sometimes I wanna stay at home so badly cause I want to get my homework done with and sometimes I just wish there was more band practice so I can spent more time on my horn.Competition is less than 30 days away and yet,I don't feel the pressure.Surely something is wrong.Right now,other schools are practicing their ass off and having intensive practice camps and etc.And we are just taking things easy,thinking we could just appear on stage and give those bighead judges a happy face and return with a Gold? What kind of bullshit is that? I'm not dissing the band or the school or anyone for that matter.I'm just angry at myself that I didn't work harder before and have to get all stressed up NOW,20+ days before competition.I always keep telling myself I have to work extra hard this year and I know I've done a horrible job at it.My grades are falling,I haven't been handing my work punctually,I've been falling asleep in class etc etc.Now is supposed to be the time where I buck up in my studies but that doesn't really seem to be possible.The fact that I stay up late every night mugging proves that.
Anyway,if I have to make a sacrifice,I guess I would sacrifice my mid-term results.I can always try harder to achieve better results at the end of the year,but for the competition,there isn't gonna be a next time.Maybe Alson forgot to mention but the graduating people aren't the only ones who having the last shot at competition.The Sec 3 express are having the first AND the last shot as well,so I think this pretty darn important that we buck up now if not later.I may sound like a beggar desperate for a Gold,but if you ask me,I have never blatantly told anyone out loud that I want one.I just keep pushing myself to try my best and if my best isn't good enough,than let it be.
I don't know why I could be so emo right now,especially since being 'emo' is not in my nature.But honestly,letting it all out feels good,though I won't do it so often.Maybe right now I should just focus on my goals more and put my worries aside.If I'm not being myself these days,then you should understand why.I just hope I can get back on track when all these stressing things are done with...
Another boring post....
It's a perfect denial
10:48 am
